So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
