Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
