I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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