Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
where am i from again
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
