Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
