Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
