so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
