the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
