So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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