I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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