Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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