If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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