I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
