Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Randomize
