Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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