We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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