Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
