She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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