at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
