Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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