is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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