A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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