Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
