Please, let me fuck your mom
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
