I wish i was in the wii world.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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