walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
