is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
