It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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