Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
