Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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