i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
