I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
