another moral hangover. fuck.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
