3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
