i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize