So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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