i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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