i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
