K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
