you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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