just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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