I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
