Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
