??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
