Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I got chris browned last night
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
