we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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