can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
