So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
