She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
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