Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
