He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
