I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize