i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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