I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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