Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
