Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize