i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
