My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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