i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Michael Bay diarrhea
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
