guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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