I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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