I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
