i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
