i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
