I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
