Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
