i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
